Over the weekend, I attended a lecture by Dr.Garland Landrith, a specialist in Tapping (also known as EFT) who heals past wounds and reframes memories to diminish the effect our triggers have on us. He brought up some points that rang true in their simplicity and importance. We all know that feelings of major traumas can be traced back to ways that we were treated as infants and events in our childhood, but such seemingly insignificant events like being left for long periods of time to cry in the crib could lead us to expect that we will not get what we need, affecting adult relationships and behavior.
Dr. Landrith cited studies that found that not being held and not being told that we are loved as infants could affect our healthy growth. Dr. Spock has apologized to a generation of parents for misguiding them in some ways to raise independent children, but who instead contributed to their feelings of not being worthy of love and protection.
I was thinking, “Yeh, yeh, when are we going to stop going back and blaming our parents for our insecurities? Since we are pretty highly functioning, do we need to work EVERYTHING out?” Dr. Landrith believes that there is another side to this. He feels that we are here to learn to love our dark side. Part of releasing the power that subconscious triggers have over us is to love that part of ourselves that feels inadequate, ineffective and unimportant. Love the part that sends us fearful messages, and the messages stop. Love the part that was not cared for or nurtured, that was ignored and never authenticated by those entrusted with our care. I like this. It helps us to accept imperfection in ourselves and in others. Just another precious lesson in being human.