Let’s talk about embarrassment. I don’t know why, but it popped into my head a few days ago and I began to explore it. There seems to be an element of “other people” involved in being embarrassed. If you were on a deserted island with no other human being around and you were delightfully swinging on your hammock of palm fronds sipping a delicious concoction of coconut water and crushed mango and you swung too far and you fell out of the hammock with one foot caught in the weave causing you to dangle upside down with coconut, mango drink dripping from your chin while staring into the big black eyes of a bullfrog, would you be embarrassed? I don’t think so. Maybe surprised. Maybe humored.
On the other hand, imagine that you just finished your violin solo at Carnegie Hall and on your way to take your long-awaited bow that you had practiced in the mirror countless times you tripped on a music stand and staggered to regain your balance twisting your ankle and grasping onto the piano for support. Would you be embarrassed? Probably.
I wonder if there is a way to take our need to impress other people out of the equation so we are not so hard on ourselves. Park our egos and the need to send a message at the door. There is a place for them, but often they add little to our stability, equanimity and enjoyment. Just enjoy the moment and so what if we mess up. I think that it would feel very freeing and nurturing and it would be an example for others to be more gentle and forgiving of themselves.
So true, Ellie! Do you remember two or three years ago when actor Jennifer Lawrence tripped over her ball gown while climbing up the stairs to receive her Oscar? She fell to her knees. Most people would have been mortified and rendered speechless, but Jennifer was able to laugh, and even to gently chide the audience when they gave her a standing ovation, saying (paraphrased), “Awww, you’re just doing that because I fell down.” Jennifer showed us how the ability to laugh at ourselves, to find the humor in sometimes horrifying circumstances can help us to hold onto the joy of the moment that we might otherwise have missed. She’s young, but she’s very wise. Thanks for writing about this!
I forgot about that, Anne, but it is a perfect example of how to handle an embarrassing moment with grace and humor. Thanks for your comments!