When asked why I am here, I first answered that I wanted to reinvent myself. But, that is not true. I want to reinvent my experiences, not me. I am not here to become someone else or to find myself. I am not lost. I am here to enjoy the adventure of learning and exploring new possibilities while being authentically me.
I don’t want to exchange one set of rules for another. I don’t want to live in a box that says that I cannot let my naturally graying hair grow in or that I have to have certain political beliefs. On the other hand, I don’t want to live with rules that demand that I don’t color my hair or eat certain foods. I enjoy being unique with changing views, and I honor uniqueness and change in others.
Last night I went out for pizza with a new man friend. I thought that it was going to be a short visit, but we talked for three hours about this. We were both expressing the need to be authentic in our relationships…to be seen and heard and to show someone else the respect of seeing and hearing them. We felt ready to listen and to seek out others who could listen to us. After so many years of misunderstanding ourselves and others, we welcome this time in our lives when we feel ready to be heard.
I was in the market today at the checkout line. A woman let me go ahead of her since I only had one item. At the register, I saw a bowl of heart-shaped chocolate caramels. I bought one and gave it to her. Her face lit up, and so did the other people in line. Just a little gesture, a random thought, and it felt so good!
What a glorious time of life it is! We have a precious opportunity to mold the next stage of life like a cherished sculpture. I am my very own creation. A work of art. I want to be awake when I work. I want to consciously point myself in a direction. And, why not create the most loving, magical direction with exciting experiences? I believe that if our opportunities are limited we can still take small steps. It doesn’t have to be a huge leap. Whatever we choose, it can re-direct our course if we want it to.
who is this man friend? 😉
After reading your words, I had an image of leaks, little bits of us leaking out of our bodies. There is so much inside of us that we haven’t tapped into that we keep bottled up inside. I could see you opening up the tap and watching as all of this good stuff is revealed to you at just the perfect amounts to keep you in a wondrous state of discovery. I am enjoying your leakage! 🙂
Oh, and the picture you chose for this entry is just perfect! Such happiness on her face!
Yeah!!! Thank you so much for reminding me to be compassionate with myself – I was just about to declare mutiny on the captain of this ship, but really I just need to be more attentive and steer. Much happiness to you, enjoy your adventure.
Ellie, I’m with you all the way on this. Moving right along in this life I am gratefully blessed to be shedding layers of negative conditioning and cultural values that have long stubbed my inner light on many occasions… learning to be able to dance to my own rhythms and be open and compassionate of the dance of others I am enjoying the fruits of this authenticity and still learning and growing into the light more hours of every day. Thanks for this inspiration and sharing the weavings of your beauty!
Sounds like you’ve set your sails for a wondrous adventure ahead. Aldea is a good area to live, not to far from town. Stephen