Listen and Move Forward

IMG_7223One of our biggest challenges is to accept that people see things differently based on their experiences both past and present. A dirty plate in the sink will mean something different to different people. To some it will re-ignite the feeling of being abandoned and not cared for, to others it will bring to the surface a fear of germs and yet others will not care viewing it as just an insignificant chore that will get done in time. We get in trouble when we expect others to see it as we do. If, upon finding out that their reactions are strange, we try to convince them to see it our way we are participating in a relationship that is built on mistrust and confusion, paving the way for withdrawal and distance.

So, what to do? I have found it most helpful to try to understand how the other person feels even though it may be foreign and abhorrent to me. Listen to their feelings before reacting to their words. We are not all proficient in explaining or articulating, and often we don’t even know what emotions were triggered. I appreciate when someone listens to what I am saying and makes an effort to understand and accept my feelings. Am I talking about the election? Not really. I’m talking about people, relationships and growth and the opportunity to connect on a more authentic and satisfying plane.

2 Responses to “Listen and Move Forward”

  1. Susan Petrone

    I love your way at looking at life. Your writings have opened my mind these past few years. You teach forgiveness, understanding and so many other lessons. I too have a daughter. I live in Medford Oregon. I look forward to reading more of your blogs.
    Wishing you a blessed thanksgiving.

    Reply
    • Ellie Dolgin

      Susan, thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comments. I so appreciate your writing about how these blogs have affected you. Your words have inspired me, too. I look forward to hearing from you again. Let me know how you are feeling!

      Reply

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