On Thanksgiving afternoon, my mother asked to speak privately with my sisters and me. The turkey was in the oven and the children were resting in a warm, sunny spot on the floor.
My sisters and I sat in a semi-circle facing my mother as she explained the purpose of the meeting. When her mother died, she had many unanswered questions that she grappled with for years. She didn’t want us to have to go through that anguish. Did we have any questions for her? Was there anything that we wanted to say to her? Anything! Were we comfortable talking in front of each other?
We asked important questions and she answered them offering thoughts about her life, some things that we already knew and some that we didn’t. We listened to her worries and fears and told her specifically how we would alleviate them assuring her that we would work as a team and always take care of her. We laughed and hugged, deeply aware of the significance of the moment. It was a conversation that we didn’t expect, but was intimate and healing leaving us feeling closer and connected. I appreciate my mother being pro-active and following through with her intuition. She modeled change and transformation for us, nursing her wound by refusing to repeat the trauma. It was a gracious, generous act of courage and love.
We had so much to be thankful for that day.
I hope that you will continue the sharing.
This is beautiful. It touched me and thanks for sharing this. I also love the picture of you and your mother.
Thanks so much, Annina.
Beautiful!!
Thank you, Heather!
You have a beautiful gift of family and through you, your sisters and mother the gifts will multiply. Thank you for sharing this intimate moment with the world! <3
I think that it grows with sharing.
so lucky to have had this special time with your mom and the family. That’s what holidays are all about. Just being together and sharing is a beautiful gift ?
I agree!
Oh dearest Ellie,
This makes me want to stand up and cheer. It has become one of my biggest concerns that the people we love are “not allowed” to talk about passing over, dying, not being here with us one day. Everyone wants to shoosh them; “Now now, Mom, you’ve got a lot of years ahead of you,” or “Honey, what are you talking about, you’re going to be just fine.” Well, one day that loved one WILL leave us, too often with so much unsaid. I’ve been privileged to witness just a very few families who have given each other the gift of talking openly about life and beyond, laughing & celebrating the life & loves & escapades, as well as sharing and listening to the hopes, expectations & trepidations everyone has about “what comes next.” I’ve already told Jon many times that should I go before him, it’s vitally important to me that we can talk openly. And if anyone who knows me wants to talk about their own life and leaving, I’m here for you. Thank you, Ellie and beautiful family!
Thank you for your thoughts, Anne. Talking openly is a generous and selfless gift, and one that I (and you) so appreciate! Please share!