My mother can talk with anyone. I left her sitting on a bench at a flower show while I got her coat and when I returned she had made a friend. She talks to people on airplanes and asks people in upscale restaurants why they ordered what they did, disarming any notion of haughtiness or distance. When she was visiting me in Santa Fe I took her to my favorite bakery for breakfast. As we were walking to our table, she starting talking to a man innocently sitting at a table eating his eggs and sourdough toast.
“Do you live here?” she asked.
“In the bakery? No. If you mean Santa Fe, then yes.”
We all laughed. Historically, I found her friendliness foreign and embarrassing. I had learned cool nonchalance and had perfected the ability to look past someone on my way to wherever I was going. Her ease and engagement shook my attachment to aloofness. She could diffuse any non-assuming patron.
But…. Since I moved to New Mexico I have learned to chat! I partake in friendly conversation with the man sweeping the parking lot as well as tourists savoring a flavor of the southwest. I know when my exterminator’s daughter got married and how he felt about his new son-in-law.
Did you ever feel like trying out one of your parent’s idiosyncrasies? You might be far enough removed that it will feel comfortable and even fun. At the very least, it saves energy wasted on distancing that behavior. You might be done with that.
While my mother never was at a loss for words or laughter, I was very shy for most of my life. One day I realized that life was so much more fun when I chatted up people.
I know why all my doctors chose their niche.
I know how immigrants found their way to this particular spot on the globe to live.
It’s amazing how much we learn and appreciate from one another but a simple chat. 🙂
I Love this!!! And I’ll have you know, last year I was in a clothing store w 2 girlfriends who were in the dressing room while I sat on the bench just outside. Another lady came out of the dressing room and asked my opinion. We started chatting. My friends came back out and when we left they said, “wow, you can really talk to anyone!”
Yes, I can!!